When are children too old to breastfeed?

I just saw an interesting video on reddit, and it was label NSFL (not safe for lunch). So naturally I had to see it. It is about a woman who chooses to breastfeed her children past the age of one (one stopped at 5, the other is nearly 8 and still breastfeeding).


At first I was shocked, but then I realized that it wasn't quite shock that I was feeling. Afterall, I am a self-proclaimed lover of outliers and the exception to the rule. I love people who are asexual, transgender, or kinky, so if I am so okay with everyone else being different, then why did I have a problem with this? It struck me that maybe I wasn't shocked, but disgusted.

I questioned myself - what was so inherently disgusting about breastfeeding children? I know that throughout history, women have traditionally breast fed for extended periods of time, both because it was a cheap, easy, readily available, and nutritious food for their children, and also because it aided in preventing pregnancy (although it is a myth that it is impossible for women to get pregnant while breastfeeding, it does reduce the chances of ovulation).

So historically, this was normal for women. In the video, the children seemed active and healthy, there was no physical harm being done (in fact, there may be some benefit since antibodies and things to aid the immune system are passed from mother to child through breast milk).

So why was I, and obviously the person who originally posted it in reddit, upset at the act?
I believe it stems from the (over)sexualization of breasts. In our society, the default understanding of breasts is a sexual one. We like to see women showing off their cleavage, we pay strippers to show us their breasts, and women get implants to make theirs bigger. When I say boobs, you are more likely to think sexy thoughts than child rearing ones. Even as a woman who has no children, the breasts' primary function for me is pleasure.

I'm not the only one thinking this. I have heard multiple men comment that they find it hard when their wives/partners first begin to breastfeed, because they see the nipple come out and they are hardwired to think "sex" and then they see a baby attached to it, and their brain gets confused. Sexy thoughts and babies don't go together. They find it hard to watch, because it takes a while to desexualize bare breasts.

I think this is what we are partially reacting to when we get concerned about extended breastfeeding. We are a pedophile-fearing culture. You only need to begin to say the word and people's blood pressure sky rockets. We have a special kind of hatred for people who sexualize children, and when we see a woman breastfeeding a child that is out of diapers, and that can walk and talk, I think we tap into that pedophile-phobia.

If we see a mother that breastfeeds past a year, she is deviant. Pedophiles are deviant. Breasts are sexual, and give sexual pleasure. She is engaging in an act that we see as echoes of sexual behaviour that we engage in with adults, but instead she is doing it with her walking, talking, toilet trained children. Worst of all, they can talk about how much pleasure it gives them to breastfeed, and that just makes our brains explode!

They like it! Oh dear lord, the twisted world she has created for them! Child abuse! Pedophile! Deviant!

Obviously, logic kicked in for me, and the children are not in any physical danger. The only danger that they face is if they get told what is happening is weird enough times, then they will be convinced that not only is being breast fed weird, but that they must be the worst type of weird for liking it. The end result is either hating themselves for liking it, or hating their mother for making them *think* they liked it.

Essentially, the only psychological harm that can really be done is if society tells them that breast feeding at an older age is hurting them psychologically. Essentially, it is a self fullfilling prophecy - if we tell them enough that they are screwed up, they will become screwed up.

So what do we do? Well, we should probably just leave people alone. There are online communities of mothers who choose to breastfeed past 12 months, which can aid mothers in helping to understand that although they are a minority, they are not alone, and not crazy. Actually, the AAP (American Academic of Pediatrics) actually recommends breastfeed for a full year or longer because of the health and psychological benefits.

Science and human history seem to be on the side of the minority of women who choose to breastfeed for an extended length of time. I wonder, if there wasn't any stigma against breastfeeding longer, would we have healthier children? How many women choose to share breastfeeding with their children for longer? Are we possibly discounting a potentially valuable child rearing practice out of oversexualization of breasts and fear of pedophilia?

Part of me wonders.

In love and lust,

Lilith

Note: Breast is mentioned 26 times in this post.